Tuesday, 25 January 2011

Dismembered (flash fiction 177 words)

The metal reflected the sunlight streaming through the window. Its edge glinting, razor sharp and powerful. Blood smeared the fingers that curled purposefully around its handle.

A curse issued from the blade-wielder as he slashed the knife downwards. Slicing through flesh and sinew, his knife struck bone. He mopped his brow, knife still in hand. Wordlessly, he moved the body he was dismembering so that he could slide his knife between its ribs.

So engrossed was he, that the voice behind him made him start. He span round quickly. His eyes coming to rest on a small elderly woman. He could see the defiance in her eyes. He drew a quick breath and moved towards her, the blood still dripping from the knife in his hand.

“What are you doing here, mother? What do you want?”

“Hello, dear. Just popped in to see if you would bring a pound of mince home for tea tonight.” She hardly waited for him to reply, before turning and walking out of the butcher’s shop to finish the rest of her shopping.

© Lindsey Chapman - http://word-weaving.blogspot.com/ 


  1. Nice turnaround from the horror I expected, to the punchline.

    Welcome to #FridayFlash. :)

  2. Well done, again a twist I like. Note: typo police- Spun rather than span. nice one!

  3. I was definitely not expecting it. I thought someone had gotten it, and the old mom was about to get it too. You are twisted ;-)

  4. Thanks for the comments. Good to know the story's getting read and going down well.

  5. Short, snappy and fun. Maybe you could have stopped at his mother asking him to bring home the mince. At that point i think we know he's a butcher. Although, now to think of it, he could be bringing home minced human. Welcome to #fridayflash.

  6. @Flyingscribbler, thank you for the welcome. You know, I dithered about ending it where you suggested, but I wanted to make sure it was understood that he was a butcher.

    When I got the notification of your comment, for a moment I thought you had posted another chapter of The Mythical Creatures Employment Exchange.

    If anyone else is reading this, I can recommend it. Here's a quick link: http://flyingscribbler.wordpress.com/

  7. I love how you're very firmly seated in visceral horror language and then you abruptly shift into the mundane twist... "Hello, dear."

    Brilliantly handled.

    A very nice play with genre conventions in a small space.

  8. Well crafted. I like the wordplay you have used in visualizing the scene, but leaving out the reality of it untill the end.